My Christmas gift...

Look at those faces. It's hard to believe that face belongs to the same child. The picture on the left was taken last December. It was an ornament Jude made at his Mother's Day Out program last year. When I found the ornament this year, I immediately started to cry. I cried because I remember that face - the glazed-over eyes, the lack of expression, and the little boy behind the face who wouldn't look at me, smile at me, talk to me, or interact with me.

He hadn't always been that way. Until about November of last year he had been a happy, funny, affectionate, silly little toddler. We had no concerns about his development. We didn't know it at the time, but about this time last year he began to disappear before our very eyes - trapped behind the emerging wall of autism.

Thankfully, that wall has been chipped away over the past year. Pieces of the wall are still there, and they may always be there. But he has worked so hard to push back against that wall, and today he laughs, makes jokes, dances, gives hugs, speaks in complete, grammatically correct sentences, loves to be the center of attention, and loves to make people laugh. He loves his little friends, his sister, his baby brother, and his mom and dad. He looks them in the eye and calls them by name. He asks them to come play with him instead of playing by himself. He argues when he doesn't want to do something. He lays down on the floor and throws a good old fashioned, typical 2-year old temper tantrum. He yells "No, Mommy! I can NOT going to!" He smiles at strangers and tells them hi. He sings in the car at the top of his lungs...songs like Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Jingle Bells. He negotiates over his food..."No, I eat 3 bites. Not 5 bites..." The first thing he does when Daddy gets him out of bed in the morning is run to find his sister, his baby brother, and his mom. He bursts in to the room and says "Hi Mom! There's Clara! And there's Baby Micah! I'm awake!!" He lights up any room as soon as he enters. He is a delight to everyone who knows him.

I almost threw this ornament away when I found it. It made me sad to look at it. In the end, I decided to keep it to remind myself of how far we have come in one short year, to remind myself of how proud I am of my little boy. That picture is part of his story, and it will always be part of his story. But thank the Lord, that wasn't the end of his story, and we pray that there are many chapters left to come.

This just might be my favorite Christmas gift ever.

October Fun

I'm a loser when it comes to blogging. I have great intentions, but there really has just been no time this fall. So even though it's December, I'm going to post some pictures from way back in October.

First, Micah got a new toy! He told me he was getting too big for his bouncy seat and his play mat. He was ready to stand up and play! So here he is in his brand new (to him) Jumperoo:

As it turns out, Micah was not the only one excited about his new toy. This kept EVERYONE entertained for at least an hour...

Next comes Halloween. It all started with this picture that Jude's teacher texted me one day during school. She said he was having so much fun playing dress-up, and he especially loved the cowboy costume. She said he wore it for almost the entire day. For a kid who struggles with imaginative play, this was pretty exciting!

So of course we decided he simply had to be a cowboy for Halloween. I searched for the cutest cowboy costume I could find, and he LOVED it. His school had a practice trick or treating day before Halloween where they took the kids to the neighboring businesses and taught them how to say Trick or Treat and Thank You. It's a great idea for almost all little kids, since Halloween is kind of a crazy and overwhelming night. Jude wasn't feeling too well that day, but we didn't want to miss out on the fun. Here he is with one of his amazing teachers/therapists on their practice trick or treating run. Cutest cowboy ever!

Speaking of cute, here's our Micah Monkey on his first Halloween!

This is all 3 of them on Halloween night. It was nearly impossible to get them all to sit still long enough for a picture, and Micah looks like he's afraid one of his older siblings is about to eat him. Still, they had a lot of fun, and Jude did great. I think they're hoping they can do it again very soon! 

In case you can't tell, Clara Beth is dressed as a paleontologist. A FANCY paleontologist. Of course.

Final shot from October...our little soccer player. She had a lot of fun in her first season playing organized sports. She scored one goal, made some new friends, and learned a lot. Maybe she really will turn out to be a sporty girl after all!

Now let's see if I'll get around to posting pictures from November before the year is over...

Here's a happy picture...

My 15 Minutes...

"We are often afraid, in the church, to tell people that our rope has broken lest they think that we aren't spiritual. We don't want people to know we're hurting because we fear that they'll think less of us. We remain silent when we are falling apart because we honestly believe that Christians shouldn't fall apart." 
 --- Steve Brown, "When Your Rope Breaks"

I am not doing so well. There. I said it. Somehow that's a hard thing to admit. There is nothing specific that has happened recently that has made life more difficult. We are not dealing with any terrible hardship or suffering through some horrible trial. Really, when I try to explain to people why I'm not doing well, it all sounds kind of silly. Overall, things are going smoothly and our life is pretty good. But still, I am not doing so well. I feel sad, tired, lonely, weary, frustrated, anxious, and I get angry easily.  I've been wondering if perhaps this is depression I'm dealing with. I've never had depression before, so I don't know for sure if this is what it feels like. I don't know if it's postpartum depression - caused by hormonal changes - or if it's just a result of isolating and difficult circumstances. But no matter what you label it, it's there and it's overwhelming. And it's time to confront it, with the hopes of eventually conquering it.

I realize that a major contributing factor to my current emotional state is probably our schedule. We are so busy these days. When Jude was diagnosed with autism earlier this year, I knew our lives were about to change, probably forever. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't anticipate how much sacrifice would be required of me personally. I don't begrudge that sacrifice even a little bit, but it has been hard. I had to immediately drop out of my women's Bible study (which was my 2 hours of sanity each week) because it conflicted with Jude's therapy. Play dates are difficult because he's in school 4 mornings a week for 3 hours. It's a 20 minute drive each way to his school, then we rush home for Micah's morning nap, head back late morning to pick up Jude, rush back home for lunch and afternoon naps, then Clara comes home from school and it's time for homework, baths, dinner, and bed time - unless she has soccer practice or Awana, which requires loading up all the kids again for more shuttling. It means lots of time in the car every day and very little social time for me. Add in a baby who doesn't consistently sleep well, and now even an evening out with friends is difficult because I'm just too tired by the end of the day. If it weren't for text messaging and Facebook, I could easily go days without speaking to an adult other than Chris or the therapists at Jude's school.  And in addition to our busy schedule, I've spent every free minute this fall editing client photos. I enjoy photography, and it's supposed to be an outlet for me - something fun. But I underestimated how demanding it would be to care for 3 small children, including an infant, a child with special needs (although really, don't they all have "special needs?") and the busy schedule that involves, so I took on more photography sessions than I could handle. It meant that every time the babies were asleep, I edited pictures. The laundry piled up, grocery shopping didn't get done, the house was in chaos, I had no time to read books or call a friend or even sit and breathe for a minute....I just edited pictures. Ten solid months of social isolation is bound to make just about any extrovert feel drained, and three solid months of a house in chaos and no free time at all is bound to make any control-freak feel depressed.

My very good friend, who also happens to be a counselor, recently challenged me to spend 15 minutes each day doing something I enjoy. She reminded me that God created ME with special gifts and interests, and to lose sight of myself in the busyness of caring for my family and running a small business is essentially to tell God that this special part of His creation is not important. I had to admit that at this point it's difficult for me to even think of things that I enjoy. It's been so long since I've done anything just for myself that I can't even remember the things I used to enjoy. So I started to make a list. It hasn't been easy, and I'm still working on coming up with ideas. So far I haven't done a consistently great job of making time for those 15 minutes every day, but even the process of making the list has been healing. It's good to remember that there ARE things about life that I enjoy, and it's also good to remind myself that some day I will have time to do these things again. I'm editing my last fall photo session this week, Micah will not always need 2 naps a day, and some day all 3 of my children will be in school. It may be a while, but the idea that "some day" is out there makes me feel hopeful and encouraged. I may not have time to go for a 5-mile run today or read a book just for pleasure, but I CAN make time to paint my toenails or go through a drive-through and order cheddar poppers for myself or work on one page in our family photo album. It's not much, but it's a start. And as I've begun to realize, taking care of myself is not being selfish. I am much better at loving my husband and my children when I'm not collapsed in a sobbing heap on the bathroom floor every night. I'm not doing these 15 minutes just for me...I'm doing them for the sake of my whole family.

When I started making my list, one of the first things I thought of was that I would like to spend some time writing.  I've had so many thoughts, anxieties, fears, and emotions floating through my head lately, but I've had precious little time to process them. Writing helps me process. The problem is that 15 minutes each day doesn't even give me enough time to organize my thoughts, let alone write them in coherent sentences. So I've been putting off writing anything on this blog for months, because there just isn't enough time to do it all. I decided today, though that sitting to process for just a few minutes at a time is better than not processing at all. My brain feels disoriented, chaotic, and heavy. I might not be able to wade through it all today, but I'm going to start - a little at a time. It doesn't matter if nobody reads it (although, being the extrovert that I am, I do like it when people read it!), and I know most people would rather just see pictures of the kids dressed up for Halloween (which I STILL haven't posted - no time!!) or hear about our Thanksgiving. But really, I can't move on to the happy moments until I've worked through the yuck in my brain first. After I finish up my last fall photo session this week, I'll make the time to post some happy pictures and adventures on this blog, if for no other reason than to remind myself of all the beautiful moments we experience each day. But I'm also going to slowly wade through some of the chaos in my mind - writing maybe only a few disjointed minutes at a time - until I can see more clearly again.

My 15 minutes are way over for today, but here's a quote from the Steve Brown book "When Your Rope Breaks" that I'm slowly working my way through while I nurse the baby. It describes my spiritual state so well right now. Seriously, I think Steve Brown and I have the same brain, except that his is much smarter than mine:

"Someone has said 'Never doubt in the dark what God has taught you in the light.' That's good advice. Some of my friends find great comfort in prayer and studying the Scriptures when they are going through a difficult time, but that isn't the way it works for me. When my rope breaks, the Scriptures seem as dry as dust and my prayers never seem to get any further than my front teeth. I study the Scriptures and pray when things are going reasonably well. Then, when the darkness comes, I remember the truth I discovered in the light, and I hang on to that with everything I've got."

Here is what I know is true, what has been proven to me in happier times, even though I don't feel it right now:  I am loved. I am not alone. That's about as far as I can get at the moment, but it's enough for today, and I'm hanging on to it with everything I've got.

Here's What the Doctor Said...

It’s been a few weeks since Jude’s evaluation, but I’m only just now finding time to sit down and work through my thoughts. Since then I’ve spent lots of time talking to his therapists, to Chris, to friends, and to God about it, but I’m still not entirely sure what to think of it all. The evaluation did not go badly, but it was hard, and it wasn’t as encouraging as I’d hoped it would be. In many ways it was very eye opening. It gave us a better idea of where Jude is still struggling, and where we should focus our efforts in the future.

The point of these evaluations is to set up challenging situations for the child and watch how he deals with those challenges. Jude’s biggest challenges are in the areas of communication and social interaction. He definitely struggled with both those elements at the evaluation. Watching him that day was almost like watching the Jude of 6 months ago. He did better than he did 6 months ago, but he was clearly struggling. He hardly used any words at all during the first half of the evaluation. I know that many kids feel shy around new people and new surroundings, but it was more than just shyness. It was almost like he had forgotten how to communicate, and not just with words, but also with non-verbal communication skills. There were many things (like making eye contact, responding to his name, requesting help, etc.) that I know he’s capable of but just didn’t do. The doctor explained that it appears that Jude has not yet learned how to generalize those skills. In other words, he has learned how to use those skills so well at home and at school (settings where he is comfortable and knows what’s expected of him), but he hasn’t yet learned that he can use those same skills in new settings. It sounds crazy because it seems like that should be common sense, but for some reason Jude needs to be taught this concept. So we discussed ways that we can target the generalization of his skills in his current therapy program, and what we need to be focusing on in the future. After talking with his lead therapist last week, we have some ideas that we’re going to begin working on immediately, and some other ideas that may require long-term planning, including possibly selling our house and moving to another county (yikes!!). I’m trying not to focus too much on the overwhelmingly large long-term picture, and instead take one small step at a time. And thankfully, the amazing staff and therapists at his school have promised to help us every step of the way, which is good because we really have no stinkin' idea what we're doing.

 So overall, it was not a bad evaluation. It was, however, eye opening, as I mentioned before. I realized that I have pretty much been in denial for the past 8 months, not really believing that Jude is truly on the autism spectrum. I don’t think I’ve just been naïve. The psychologist we’ve seen at Vanderbilt is one of the country’s leading autism experts, and even he is not sure whether or not Jude is on the spectrum. He even brought in a colleague during this evaluation just to get a second opinion, and his colleague wasn’t sure either. And the therapists at his school are not convinced that he’s on the spectrum either. He just doesn’t quite fit the profile, although he has several red flags and areas of vulnerability. So I’ve had reason to be optimistic, and I still do. But at that evaluation…watching him struggle with things that should be natural and intuitive, seeing his skills break down right in front of me…it was the first time I admitted to myself that my child is probably on the spectrum. He's brilliant - that's becoming increasingly more clear. Alarmingly intelligent in many ways, but still on the spectrum. Admitting it doesn’t necessarily change anything. The spectrum is a big place – there are individuals with a wide range of skills on it. That’s why they call it a spectrum. Jude is exactly the same as he was before the evaluation, with all the same strengths and skills, but somehow it feels different. Admitting it to myself changed things. It made me stop and re-evaluate my expectations. It made me face my fears and begin questioning what exactly I’m afraid of. And most of all, it popped my little bubble of denial, which is sad because I really liked that bubble. I felt safe in that bubble – safe and warm and comfortable. And heaven forbid that I should have to go through anything in my life that makes me uncomfortable. I mean, if nothing else, God at least owes me a life that’s comfortable, right? Clearly, the cancerous lies of the prosperity gospel are alive and well in my subconscious mind.

 At the end of the day, we still have much reason to hope. Jude has proven time and again that he is very, very smart and very, very teachable. In just 6 months he has learned so much. Yes, those things should have come naturally, but they didn’t. Still, he was able to learn them, and now they do come naturally to him in familiar settings. Now he needs to learn how to continue using those skills in unfamiliar settings. He has the best team of therapists in the city walking along beside him, helping him and teaching him and loving him. His therapists are optimistic and encouraged by his progress, and so is the doctor. He ended the evaluation with these words: “I think it’s entirely within the realm of possibility that a few years from now we’ll be having a conversation about sending him to mainstream kindergarten, possibly without any additional supports in place. And I don’t say that to many of the families I see in here.” So that's definitely reason to hope.

 The doctor also said that had we not chosen to send Jude to the school we chose, had we not intervened as quickly and aggressively as we did, we would be having a very different conversation right now. He feels confident that Jude would have continued to decline in his skills and we would have missed that important window of opportunity. Hearing those words was very comforting. It reminded me of Who has been in control from the very beginning of this journey. Once again, we find ourselves facing some major decisions in the coming months. Once again, things feel uncertain and unsettled. Once again, I’m unsure where to let my emotions land– on realism or hope. I can choose to feel overwhelmed and afraid again, or I can choose to look back, see how He has carried us through this all along, and sing “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” at the top of my lungs. My voice might be a little shaky and out of tune. I might stumble my way through, forget the words a few times, and hit several wrong notes. But I can choose to keep on singing anyway. Because after all, it’s not really about me and how good I sound, is it?

 Again, Jesus Calling came through with exactly what I needed to hear. I read this the other day and was brutally reminded again that it’s time to take my eyes off myself and what I want from my life:

 “Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hoping for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope! ...Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One…When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway. I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way.” 

 Dang it. So I’ll let out a big sigh, take another deep breath, and keep trudging down this rocky path of sanctification. But look at the cute little buddy I get to take along with me!

Update on Jude

Jude has an appointment at Vanderbilt with the developmental psychologist on Tuesday, so I needed to take some time to re-evaluate how he's doing. There's A LOT of information here, mostly as a way for me to keep track of what we need to discuss with the doctor. It may be way more detail than anyone else is interested in, so feel free to skim the text, skip to the end, or just look at the cute pictures. I promise I won't be offended :)

Finally, I’m sitting down to write an update on Judle Bug’s progress. The problem is that I hardly know where to start. He’s come so far since my last update! Let’s see, where to begin…

First of all, Jude’s language skills have just exploded over the past month. He was doing well before with his speech and language, but he really has finally hit that exploding point. He’s stringing together multiple words, like 5 or 6 or even more, and sometimes making complete, grammatically correct sentences. In fact, earlier this month we took him to Vanderbilt to be evaluated for a research study being done on toddlers with speech/language delays. Jude did NOT qualify for the study because he doesn’t have a language delay anymore! A score of 85-115 is considered within normal limits. Jude scored 112. That’s amazing. He was at the HIGH end of normal! His speech therapy has definitely been helping!

Here are some examples of things he’s been saying:

--“Mama, I play with Baby Micah.'

--Before breakfast is even ready, he climbs in to his booster seat and says “I ready, Mama. I ready for pancakes!”

--“Look, Mama! Fish is swimming.”

--“All done Mommy hold Baby Micah.” (That’s my cue to put the baby down and give Jude some attention.)

--When Clara took his car, he very calmly said, “Clara, that’s Jude’s car. It’s Jude’s turn car. It’s not Clara’s turn. It’s Jude’s turn.” (I was super proud of him for that one!)

--“I want play Silly Faces game. I ready Daddy play Silly Faces game.” (Chris’s cue to hurry up and go play the Silly Faces game with Jude.)

--After coming home from school, “I see my friends at school. I see Robbie. I see Grant. I see Abby. I no see Margaret (Margaret wasn’t there that day). I fun at school, Mama. I had fun with Miss Lori.” Um, AMAZING!!!

--“Look, Mama. I see zebra. I see two zebras.”

He’s using multiple and complicated parts of speech- possessive, plural, verbs, present progressive tense, prepositions, etc. And even more importantly (to me, anyway), he’s using his language to get the attention of other people and point out things in his environment. It seems minor, but it was one of the red flags we saw earlier this year...he didn't feel the need to point things out to other people just for the sake of social interaction. Jude would get my attention when he NEEDED something from me, but not just to show me something because he thinks it's interesting. It’s called shared enjoyment, and it’s a skill that I’m very happy to see him gaining. It's a great step towards the development of better social/relational skills.

(Reading books with Daddy. He LOVES to read books, which is great because 6 months ago he wouldn't let us read books to him at all. Now we can't make him stop!)

Jude has also learned a lot academically. He can name and label all of his letters and numbers, and just a couple weeks ago he started learning the letter sounds. He has now just about mastered that skill, meaning he can tell you what sound every letter makes. The crazy thing is that he learned them so quickly! Once they started working on letter sounds, he had pretty much learned them all within a week. Now he walks around pointing out things and telling me what letter they start with, like this: “Mommy, it’s a butterfly! B says buh. Buh buh butterfly!”  He’s very bright and very teachable. But what confuses us is that he doesn’t seem to be learning many things naturally the way most children do. Most kids will eventually pick up on how to use things like prepositions by themselves. Jude doesn’t seem to do that. He didn’t learn to make eye contact until he was taught. He didn’t learn to use words to communicate what he needed until he was taught. We’re thankful that he CAN be taught and that he learns so well, but we’re unsure why he’s not picking up more skills naturally. Fortunately, it seems like he’s beginning to do so. His speech therapist has pointed out some parts of speech that he’s using that she hasn’t taught him, which means he’s picking them up just by observing and listening to those around him. So maybe incidental learning is another skill that is beginning to emerge.

(Just being cute...)

Other important skills he's learning are imitation skills and play skills. A few months ago, Jude hardly ever imitated people, either verbally or through motions (another ASD red flag). Now he repeats almost everything he hears us say, which is a great way for him to learn new vocabulary and language skills. He also copies just about everything his sister does (which is not always a good thing!). It’s a great way to increase his social skills. Clara and Jude have so much fun playing together – she runs around and acts crazy, and he imitates her perfectly, then they both crack up laughing. It’s quite entertaining, actually.

He’s also picking up better play skills, meaning he can play appropriately with toys. Instead of staring at and inspecting his toys to see how they work, he actually plays with them. Yesterday he asked to play with trains, which he has never done before. So of course I dropped what I was doing (making dinner), and we made a train track. We got out some trains, and he made the trains go round and round the track, talking about them and making sound effects. And he’s beginning to use some imagination, which was a virtually non-existent skill a few months ago.

(Playing with his "friends" on the Little People play set. It's so fun to see his imagination beginning to emerge.)

He does, however, still have his challenges. Social skills are still the most challenging for him. He’s doing much better in this area, but he still struggles. When he finds himself in unfamiliar surroundings or around new people, he reverts to some of his less than ideal coping skills, like marching in circles, jumping, or occasionally lying on the floor and rocking. These behaviors are rare now, so that’s progress, but they do occasionally still happen. We’re working with his school to come up with some field trips in the community where we can bring a therapist along to help him learn to cope with overwhelming situations. One step at a time.

We also have some concerns about how much he's processing vs. what he's just repeating. He struggles to answer open-ended questions, although he's learning (once again, he needed to be taught this skill). If he doesn't know how to answer a question, he just repeats words that he's heard before. It's called echolalia, another behavior characteristic of ASD.  Again, he's making progress, but this is still very concerning.

(Working on some sensory skills...putting bath foam all over himself and playing in the sandbox. Both are great ways to desensitize him from his sensory aversions. We worked a LONG time on this before he would touch that bath foam, let alone put it on his face. And he only just recently started sitting in the sand box. Progress, slowly but surely...)

So overall, he is doing amazingly well. Of course this is what we hoped for, but we never expected him to progress so quickly. He's a completely different kid than he was 6 months ago, but he continues to have some red flags and areas of vulnerability, some inappropriate and atypical behaviors. I struggle with trying to balance my hopes for him with realistic expectations. Part of me hopes that he doesn’t end up on the autism spectrum at all, that he has no long term behaviors that will make him stand out from “normal” kids in the classroom. I still hope that he becomes comfortable in new social settings, that he develops strong relationships, that he doesn’t act ***weird*** (whatever that means) around other kids. I don’t want him to be singled out or made fun of by other children (or adults!). But the other part of me wonders how realistic it is to hope for these things. Am I asking God for too much? Will I be disappointed if He doesn’t answer exactly the way I want Him to? And more importantly, is that what's best for all of us?  I love the C.S. Lewis quote that says “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us (or our children…); we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” Yes, that is exactly what I’m wondering. I know that God has a perfect plan for this child, but what if that plan involves a lot of struggles and challenges for my sweet boy? What if he doesn't get to have the life I want him to have? Can I surrender my hopes for Jude and trust that God's plan is better, even if it means facing hard times ahead? That’s the struggle I face every morning when I get out of bed. Some days I do okay. Other days not so much. But thankfully, there is enough grace to cover my not-so-great days. And the next morning I can start all over again, and there will be a fresh supply of grace when I fail.

I was reading “Jesus Calling” the other morning, and this thought stood out to me: “Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity.” Jude is by far my biggest source of anxiety right now. The hardest thing to deal with is the uncertainty, the not knowing. Does he have autism or doesn’t he? Will he grow up to be “normal” (or typical), or will he be awkward around other people? Will he have friends, will he get married and have children, will he be able to have a good job? WHY do I let myself worry about these things when worrying won’t change the outcome one bit? Why do I worry about it when I know that I will love him just the same, no matter what his eventual diagnosis may be? Because I’m a mom, I’m a control freak, and I’m a rotten sinner. That’s why.

I'm being reminded that, yes, this is a growth opportunity - not for me to become stronger or for my faith to grow bigger or for me to learn better coping skills. I don't need better coping skills. I don't need more faith. I don't need to become a stronger person. I need more of Jesus. Times like this - when I feel most weak and vulnerable and anxious - they are opportunities for growth, but not for MY growth. This is a chance for Jesus to grow bigger in me. If there was ever a cure for my anxiety, it would be this: for me to fall down in front of Jesus and say, "I can't do this by myself. I'm tired and I'm afraid and I just need more of You." That's the only kind of growth I need.




So for now, I'm going to enjoy this beautiful child. I don't know what his diagnosis will be, if he ever gets a diagnosis, but it doesn't really matter, does it? He's just a fun kid. And even better, he's my kid. And no diagnosis or less-than-typical behavior could make me love him any less. Sweet Jude...

Playing Outside in August!

The weather here has been very mild lately, which is unusual for August. So we've been trying to take advantage of it and play outside when we can. I grabbed my camera yesterday when we went out, and here are a few of the fun shots we got...

Baby didn't like having the sun in his eyes, even though it was cloudy AND we were in the shade. Sensitive baby eyes...

 

My pretty girl, who is already in first grade!

 

July

We had a pretty busy month in July - lots of exciting things going on. One of the most exciting things was this....real baby smiles!

 



One of the fun things about having a young reader is that now we have someone else to read books to Jude. Clara loves to read anything she can get her hands on. Sometimes she stays up till 10:00 at night reading books in her bed. When Jude is in an especially patient mood, he might even sit still long enough to let her read to him. It's pretty cute on those rare occasions when it happens.



I love to see those two curly blond heads together...



Brotherly love...This kid really loves his baby brother. He's more interested in the baby than Clara is. He loves to give Micah "sweet hugs" and kisses. He also loves to hold Baby Micah, bring him toys, and talk baby talk to him. He's such a sweet boy. And as you can see, he's also a very, very silly boy. This is what he does when I tell him to smile.





Micah's really starting to fill out that car seat these days. He's getting nice and chubby and round from all that milk he guzzles down EVERY. TWO. HOURS.



Here's a more accurate picture of what he looks like in his car seat. This is what he does every-single-time he's in his car seat. The WHOLE time he's in it. It's enough to make me teeter very precariously on the very tippy edge of sanity.



This was him getting ready for his first car ride home from the hospital. He didn't like it even from the very beginning. He tried to tell us even back then that he was not going to be a fan of this car seat idea. But see how much bigger he is now??



With two sensory-challenged kids at home, we spend a lot of time doing therapy at home. This was a typical Saturday morning working on some occupational therapy (supposedly for Jude, but Clara needs it just as much as he does): First we played with Play-Doh, then we got out the water beads (wet, squishy, balls of gel), then we buried things and stuck our hands in the box of sand, then we did the really fun part - bath foam! Nice and messy, and the messier they get, the better. We're going to break these kids of their sensory issues one of these days!



Clara had a birthday this month (more to come on that later...), and Chris wanted to get her a Lego kit so they could build things together. They had a lot of fun working on this car, and I'm told that she did most of it herself. ALMOST as much fun as playing with princesses.



Speaking of princesses, Clara Beth did a week of dance camp in July, and on the last day they had a little "recital" for the parents. She got to wear her recital costume from last year, and as always, she loved dressing up like a ballerina princess. Their little dance was pretty darn cute.



And speaking of pretty darn cute, this little guy is trying to roll over. We found him like this in his bed the other day, and that's not how I put him down. He can't quite get that arm out of his way yet, but he'll be rolling around pretty soon!



Micah turned 2 months old in July!



Look of that ball of chub! He's getting so big!





Sweet little baby face.

First Day of School!

Wednesday was Clara Beth's first day of school. Hurray for school! The public schools here adopted the new balanced calendar this year, which has a shorter summer break, with more breaks throughout the year. So it meant that school started August 1st. She was more than ready to go! Here she is dressed in her standard school attire, ready to head out to her first day of first grade!

 



We all walked her in that first morning to meet her new teacher, who is super nice (I mean really, don't you have to be nice to teach first grade??). As you can see, Micah could hardly control his excitement.

 



Jude wanted to give her a sweet hug before we left. He's really going to miss having her home with him all day. They had so much fun playing together this summer. He absolutely adores his big sister!

 

It may seem strange, but Wednesday was a half day, then there was no school Thursday. Today (Friday) is her first full day. So yesterday, on our last morning together before she starts school full time, I asked her what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to go eat chocolate chip waffles at the Waffle House. Since Jude was in school, Clara Beth, Micah and I had a fun Waffle House date! Mmmmmmm...Waffle House.

 

 She's so excited to be back in school. Such a big girl. I know every parent says this, but I can't believe she's in first grade already!